The Ramblings of a Tired Soul
By Yitzy Nadoff
I am tired of seeing blood, every time I close my eyes I see it.
Every time I go on Facebook I see it. Rivers of blood, blood soaked Siddurim, a bloody Tallis, a bloody floor, so much blood.
I’m tired of thinking about it; I’m tired of hearing about the latest attack.
I’m tired of waking up in the morning and seeing all the pictures depicting what happened while I was sleeping.
I am tired of having friends calling me to talk about it because the fact that I was in the army in some way makes me the person to talk to about these things.
I am tired of having friends call me from the bathroom in work because they are crying so hard they can’t function.
I am tired of talking to friends about the goings on and what the Israeli government should do.
I’m tired of spending every waking moment reading everyone’s report on what went wrong and what has to be done to fix it.
I am tired of everyone thinking they are an expert on the situation, when the truth is we have no idea what to do, it just makes us feel better to think we know what the solution is.
I am tired of seeing a post that says, “in case you were wondering why I didn’t post anything about this, it is because I am waiting for an unbiased report to come out before I comment on it”. Buddy, what makes you an expert on such matters? Are you really so naive that such a report will be written, everything is biased, deal with it.
I am tired of hearing about the children without fathers, the wives without husbands, the husbands without wives, the children without mothers.
But most of all I am tired about hearing that how in every single country in the world there is some kind of war or oppression going on. Are there not more positive things to focus on? Negativity and saying “its so sad” will not help. Of course it’s sad, it sucks, but life goes on, find something to smile about, it will help so much in the long run.
I am not dreaming for world peace, I am dreaming for world understanding.
I am dreaming about a time when I will no longer be tired.
Until that day comes, I will be tired.
Yitzy Nadoff is a former IDF lone soldier who was drafted in March 2012. In May 2014, Yitzy spoke at Israel Forever's Yom Hazikaron Ceremony at The Brownstone NY in New York City.